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Our Favorite Quotations


Sometimes you just can't think of the right thing to say.  Sometimes you need to borrow some wisdom from some of history's greatest thinkers.  Sometimes you feel like you're the only one who ever felt like this.  Sometimes you forget just how horrible are some of the things that religious people say. There are many reasons for maintaining a quote file.  You should pick the ones you like and create a text file of your own.

A B C.D E F G.H I J K.L M N O.P Q R S.T.U V W X Y Z
 
 


A

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
    Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)  U.S. reformer, suffragist

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know he is.
    Jean Anouilh (1910- )    French dramatist, playwright

"Once purged of the insane, plagiarism’s, illegalities, contradictions, and the perverse, the Bible could be printed on match book covers while increasing it’s usefulness."
    Anonymous

Unconditional love is a characteristic of the Christian faith, such as that demonstrated by God in the form of a place of eternal torture for the unsaved.
    Anonymous

The difference between a religion and a delusion is the number of people who share it.
    Anonymous

If you were taught that elves caused rain, every time it rained, you’d see the proof of elves.
    Anonymous

 If you’re young, unmarried daughter, Mary, told you that she was pregnant but still a virgin, having been told by an angel that she had been impregnated by God himself, would you believe her?
    Anonymous

When Jesus was circumcised, they threw away the wrong part.
    Anonymous

It is only in religion that the wise follow the foolish.
    Anonymous

Christians believe that the most wonderful thing that can happen to them is to go to Heaven, but few of them are in a hurry to make the trip.
    Anonymous

A metaphysician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there, and a theologian is one who finds the cat.
    Anonymous

A tack points heavenward when it causes the most mischief. It has many human imitations.
    Anonymous

Christianity: A bad idea gone wrong.
    Anonymous

Christianity: Safer than a lobotomy, but just as effective.
    Anonymous

An agnostic differs from a religionist not so much in what is believed, but in the way belief is reached.   An agnostic is willing to accept proof if it is given.
    Anonymous

"Liar": As defined by theologians, an atheist who tells an unpleasant truth.
    Anonymous

Losing your faith is a lot like losing your virginity; you don’t realize how irritating it was ‘til it’s gone.
    anonymous

Nine out of ten priests who have tried Camels prefer young boys.
    Anonymous

 Oh Blessed Virgin, who didst conceive without sinning, teach me to sin without conceiving.
    Anonymous

OK, it there is no God, who changes the water?
    One goldfish to another (anon.)

Atheist: An honest agnostic.
    Anonymous

A man without god is like a fish without a bicycle.
    Anonymous

Christianity is an appeal to selfishness. It is a promise of a great reward in the future which is bought with faith, obedience, time, effort, and money in the present.
   Anonymous

A society without religion is like a psychopath without a loaded Uzi.
    Anonymous

Nixon: "I am not a crook."
Bush: "Read my lips—no new taxes."

Jesus: "I am coming soon."

    Anonymous

Those whom god has put asunder no man can join together.
    Anonymous

The House and Senate both employ chaplains. The cost to taxpayers exceeds $500,000.00 a year.  If it worked, it might be worth it. But so far, there is no evidence of divine intervention.
    Anonymous

The "true meaning of Christmas" depends on one’s viewpoint. Here is one that is often overlooked: The true meaning of Christmas is that billions of unsaved men, women, and children will burn in Hell forever! (The concept of Hell is one of the few genuinely new feature of the teachings of Jesus.)
    Anonymous

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever would believe in him would believe probably in anything.
    Anonymous

Televangelist: A charismatic good ol’ boy with the power to perform miracles, such as transforming the donations of dirt-poor believers into a thirty-room mansion.
    Anonymous

Since they manage to be invisible and pink at the same time, Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of awesome, mystical power. Our faith is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; since we can’t see them, they must be invisible.
    Anonymous

Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.
    Isaac Asimov

Skepticism is not below knowledge, but above it.
    Alain, Libres-propos, 1914


B

"Vain are the thousand creeds that move men’s hearts, unutterably vain, worthless as wither’d weeds."
    Emily Bronte (1818-1848)

Truth is the daughter of time, not of authority.
    Francis Bacon

It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority.  Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.
    Giordano Bruno

There is no absolute up or down, as Aristotle taught; no absolute position in space; but the position of a body is relative to that of other bodies. Everywhere there is incessant relative change in position throughout the universe, and the observer is always at the center of things.
    Giordano Bruno (sounding a lot like Einstein)

The establishment of religion clause of the First Amendment means at least this: Neither a state nor the Federal Government can set up a church. Neither can pass laws which aid one religion, aid all religions, or prefer one religion over another. Neither can force nor influence a person to go to or to remain away from church against his will or force him to profess a belief or disbelief in any religion.
    Justice Hugo Black, Majority opinion, Everson v Board of Education

"Everything is more or less organized matter. To think so is against religion, but I think so just the same."
    Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Believe nothing, O monks, merely because you have been told it ... or because it is traditional, or because you yourselves have imagined it.  Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings – that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.
    Gautama Buddha

Faith is a cop-out. It is intellectual bankruptcy. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits.
    Dan Barker    Former evangelist, author, critic

All through history the ancient gods have found themselves in the trash can of history, eventually discarded. Atheists today are continuing that tradition. We are adding Jehovah, or Yahweh, to the list....
    Dan Barker, FFRF   Former evangelist, author

Truth does not have to be accepted on faith. Scientists do not hold hands every Sunday, singing, "Yes gravity is real! I will have faith! I will be strong! Amen."
    Dan Barker     Former evangelist, author, critic

All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.
    Marie Henri Beyle (1783-1842)

God is the only being who does not have to exist in order to reign.
    Charles Baudelaire (1821-1867)

"The Bible doesn’t forbid suicide. It’s Catholic directive, intended to slow down their loss of martyrs."
    Ellen Blackstone

Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion.
    Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D.

"Appraise the Lord. Tax churches."
    Bumper sticker

Armies of Bible scholars and theologians have for centuries found respected employment devising artful explanations of the Bible often not really meaning what it says.
    J.S. Bullion, Jr.

As a scientist, I cannot help feeling that all religions are on a tottering foundation.... I am an infidel today. I do not believe what has been served for me to believe. I am a doubter, a questioner, a skeptic. When it can be proved to me that there is immortality, that there is resurrection beyond the gates of death, then I will believe. Until then, no.
    Luther Burbank (1849-1926)

The idea that a good God would send people to a burning hell is utterly damnable to me the ravings of insanity, superstition gone to seed! I want no part of such a God.
    Luther Burbank (1849-1926)

The time has come for honest men to denounce false teachers and attack false gods.
    Luther Burbank

The real miracle in the virgin birth story is that Mary got Joseph to believe it!
    Franz Bibfeldt, German-born "theologian"

Redemption: Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sins through the murder of their deity against whom they sinned.
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author

Impiety: Your irreverence toward my deity.
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author

Lord, I do not believe; help thou my unbelief.
    Samuel Butler (1835-1902) English author

To put one’s trust in God is only a way of saying that one will chance it.
    Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

"What, me worry about the historical Jesus? The gospel writers made up their story; the church fathers invented the virgin birth on the winter solstice; the pope thought up the immaculate conception; so I can imagine any damn thing I please about Jesus, or the Spook, or about the big guy himself."
    Theologian Franz Bibfeldt, on how to write religious history

When you repeat the same thing over and over, Sunday after Sunday, that makes people believe it whether it is true or not. It also makes writing theology easy.
    Franz Bibfeldt

"Any idiot can believe in Jesus H. Christ. To truly understand all that confusion in the gospels takes a real contortionist scholar."
    Franz Bibfeldt, German theologian


C

I give money for church organs in the hope the organ music will distract the congregation’s attention from the rest of the service.
    Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919) U.S. steel manufacturer, philanthropist

To be an atheist requires strength of mind and goodness of heart found in not one of a thousand.
    Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet, critic, journalist, philosopher

Have you ever wondered why God waited thousands of years, from Adam to Jesus, to tell the world he had a son?  He, who begins by loving Christianity more than truth, will proceed by loving his sect or church better than Christianity, and end in loving himself better than all.
    Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)

What’s the deal with this Christ fellow? It’s not a sacrifice if you get to take it back three days later.
    Stephen Carville

Nature ordains that a man should wish the good of every man, whoever he may be, for this very reason, that he is a man.
    Cicero, voicing the Stoic doctrine

"They came with a Bible and their religion— stole our land, crushed our spirit... and now tell us we should be thankful to the ‘Lord’ for being saved."
    Chief Pontiac (d. 1769)   American Indian Chieftain

You say there is but one way to worship the Great Spirit. If there is but one religion, why do you white people differ so much about it?
    Chief Red Jacket     Seneca Indian Chieftain

From time to time, as we all know, a sect appears in our midst announcing that the world will very soon come to an end. Generally, by some slight confusion or miscalculation, it is the sect that comes to an end.
    G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.
    Herb Caen

Christianity finds it hard to win new converts without reducing them emotionally to such wretchedness of self-depreciation that they surrender the last remnants of reason and human worth....
    Eli Chesen, M.D.

Worship God. It’s easier than thinking.
    Chapman Cohen (1868-1954)

Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.
    Chapman Cohen (1868-1954)


D

"Agnostic: One who does not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of."
    Clarence Darrow (1857-1938) American lawyer, author

Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt!
    Clarence Darrow (1857-1938)

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all Agnosticism means.
    Clarence Darrow, Scopes Trial

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.
    Philip K. Dick

Mankind shall not be free until the last king is strangled in the entrails of the last priest.
    Diderot

As nightfall does not come all at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight. And it is in such twilight that we all must be aware of change in the air -- however slight -- lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
    Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas

Life should be lived so vividly and so intensely that thoughts of another life, or of a longer life, are not necessary.
    Marjory Stoneham Douglas, (b. 1890) American conservationist

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"
Priest: "No, not if you did not know."

Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

                        Annie Dillard, "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek"

Religion is not insanity but it is born of the stuff which makes for insanity. ...all religions perform the function of delusion.
    George A. Dorsey (1868-1931)  U.S. anthropologist, author

How can the Church be received as a trustworthy guide in the invisible, which falls into so many errors in the visible?
    John W. Draper (1811-1882)

 It has no more special status then the belief of a particular West African tribe that the world was created from the excrement of ants.
    Richard Dawkins Oxford professor, biologist (Regarding so-called creation science)

If all the achievements of theologians were wiped out tomorrow, would anyone notice the smallest difference?
    Richard Dawkins, Oxford biologist

Science has never sought to ally herself with civil power. She has never subjected anyone to mental torment, physical torment, least of all death, for the purpose of promoting her ideas.
    John W. Draper (1811-1882)   U.S. chemist


E

“Religion is all bunk.”
Thomas Edison, (1847-1931) U.S. Inventor of the light bulb

I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God.
    Thomas Edison (1847-1931) U.S. inventor

Faith, as well intentioned as it may be, must be built on facts, not fiction— faith in fiction is a damnable false hope.
    Thomas Edison (1847-1931)

I do not believe that any type of religion should ever be introduced into the public schools of the United States.
    Thomas Edison, Do We Live Again?

There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the real labor of thinking.
    Thomas A. Edison, Placard, in all Edison works

“No idea is divinely inspired.”
     Albert Einstein

“I do not believe in the immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no supernatural human authority behind it.”
    Albert Einstein

A man’s ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
    Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)    American essayist, poet, philosopher

As men’s prayers are a disease of the will, so are their creeds a disease of the intellect.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

God is inconceivable, immortality is unbelievable, but duty is peremptory and absolute.
    George Eliot (1819-1880) author

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.
    Havelock Ellis (1859-1939)  English scientist and writer

"God found out about the Trinity in 325 A.D."
    Rocco A. Errico, Ph.D.   Lecturer, author, Bible scholar, ordained minister


F

"I may as well level with you. There’s no god, nobody makes everything right in the next world, and when you die you rot. On Easter all that really happened is that Jesus rolled back the stone, saw his shadow, and the Holy Land had six more weeks of winter."
    Tom Flynn U.S. author, editor, humanist

I do not believe in belief.
    Edward M. Forster (1878-1970)

The absurdity of a religious practice may be clearly demonstrated without lessening the number of persons who indulge in it.
    Anatole France (1844-1924)

It is an unusual book which begins with two contradictory stories and with a narrative whose time and place are false. [Yet] for centuries that book [the Bible] has been read as the source of truth.
    Robin Lane Fox, Fellow at Oxford, Historian

The Pope should be reminded that if God wanted us to pray outdoors, he wouldn’t have given us multi-million dollar cathedrals. The process of creating new scripture by constructive abuse of the old reaches its climax in the letters ascribed to Paul.
    Robin Lane Fox      Historian; Fellow, New College, Oxford


G

The happy do not believe in miracles.
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)    German poet, novelist, scientist

Doubt grows with knowledge.
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

"Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private schools, supported entirely by private contributions.  Keep the church and the state forever separated."
   Ulysses S. Grant,  U.S. President and Civil War General

I would like to call your attention to ... an evil that, if allowed to continue, will probably lead to great trouble.  It is the accumulation of vast amounts of untaxed church property.
    Ulysses S. Grant (1822-1885) 18th U.S. President

"[Pope] John the 23rd ... fled and was brought back a prisoner; the most scandalous charges were suppressed; the Vicar of Christ was only accused of piracy, murder, rape, sodomy, and incest."
    Edward Gibbon (1737-1794)   English historian

God is not all that exists.  God is all that does not exist.
    Remy de Gourmont (1858-1915)

For two thousand years Christianity has been telling us: life is death, death is life;
it is high time to consult the dictionary.

    Remy de Gourmont (1858-1915)

No theory is too false, no fable too absurd for acceptance when embedded in common belief. Men will submit to torture and death, mothers will immolate their children [for] beliefs they accept.
    Henry George (1839-1897)

The perfection preached in the Gospels never yet built an empire. Every man of action has a strong dose of egotism, pride, hardness, and cunning.
    Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)      French president


H

So long as the universe had a beginning, we could suppose it had a creator.  But if the universe is completely self-contained, having no boundary or edge, it would neither be created nor destroyed… it would simply be.  What place, then, for a creator?
    Cosmologist Stephen Hawking, who supports the no-boundary, self-contained model of the universe

One does not have to appeal to God to set the initial conditions for the creation of the universe, but if one does He would have to act through the laws of physics.
    Stephen Hawking, English scientist     "Black Holes & Baby Universes"

Science uncovers questions that may never be answered.  Religion is based on answers that may never be questioned.
    Ken Harding

A true idea has no need of any faith.
    Ken Harding

Why did god bother creating all the generations between Adam and Noah?  I mean, if he was going to kill everyone off, all the humans (men, women, innocent children and babies), guiltless animals, and all the plants too, and HE KNEW IT IN ADVANCE, why in the hell didn’t he just start with Noah in the first place?
     Ken Harding

The advance of Western civilization has been partly a story of gradual victory over oppressive religion.  The rise of humanism slowly shifted society’s focus away from obedience to bishops and kings, onto individual rights and improved living conditions.
    James A. Haught; newspaper editor and author

In the year 415, the woman scientist Hypatia, head of the legendary Alexandria library, was beaten to death by Christian monks who considered her a pagan. The leader of the monks, Cyril, was canonized a saint.
    James A. Haught, Free Inquiry (Winter 1996/1997)

Christ rode on an ass, but now asses ride on Christ.
    Heinrich Heine (1797-1856)   German poet and author

The true believer is an archenemy to three things, all for the same reason. He believes totally in what he totally believes in—thus he is an enemy of himself, of truth and all that crosses his path.
    Eric Hoffer

What is preached in the churches is mainly untrue and unimportant, tiresome, hostile to genuine progress, and in general not worthwhile.
    Rupert Hughes (1872-?)

Theology: An attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.
    Elbert Hubbard (1857-1915)

The great masses of the people...will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one.
    Adolph Hitler (1889-1945)     (Is there any lie bigger than religion?)

The Christian religion not only was first attended with miracles, but even at this day cannot be believed by any reasonable person without one.
    David Hume (1711-1776)     Philosopher, historian, man of letters

Saints fly only in the eyes of their disciples.
    Hindu Proverb

Calling Atheism a religion is like calling bald a hair color.
    Don Hirschberg

Agnostics repudiate as immoral the doctrine that there are propositions which men ought to believe, without logically satisfactory evidence, and that reprobation ought to attach to disbelief.
    Thomas H. Huxley (1825-1895)



 

I

It may be that ministers really think that their prayers do good, and it may be that frogs imagine that their croaking brings spring.
    Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899) U.S. military officer, attorney, orator

The clergy know that I know that they know they do not know.
    Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899)

Theology is not what we know about God, but what we do not know about Nature.
    Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899)

... why should we worship our ignorance, why should we kneel to the Unknown, why should we prostrate ourselves before a guess?
    Robert G. Ingersoll

My objection to Christianity is that it is infinitely cruel, infinitely selfish, and, I might add, infinitely absurd.
    Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899)

Any man who follows faithfully all ... [the New Testament’s] ... teachings is an enemy of society and will probably end his days in a prison or an asylum.
    Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899) U.S. military officer, attorney, orator

The crime called blasphemy was invented by priests for the purpose of defending doctrines not able to take care of themselves.
    Robert Green Ingersoll

I tell christians, "If you had two children and one had to be bribed (heaven) and threatened (hell) to do what he was supposed to do, and the other one just did it because that’s what he knew was the right thing to do, which would you consider the better person?
    Greg Irwin, President of the Humanist Association of Canada


J

The day that this country ceases to be free for irreligion, it will cease to be free for religion.
    Robert S. Jackson       U.S. Supreme Court Justice        Zorach v. Clausen (1952)

I believe in treating others as I want to be treated—but I certainly don’t believe in turning the other cheek and the truth is that I never knew any Christians who did either.
    James Hervey Johnson

God said: "Let us make man in our image"; and man said: "Let us make God in our image."
    Douglas Jerrold (1803-1857)


K

The great enemy of truth is very often not the lie—deliberate, contrived, and dishonest—but the myth—persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.
    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)    35th President of the U.S.

It is beyond dispute that, at a minimum, the Constitution guarantees that the government may not coerce anyone to support or participate in religion or its exercise.
    Justice Kennedy, Leading Opinion.  Lee vs. Weisman, 505US 577   1992

Faith is a euphemism for prejudice and religion is a euphemism for superstition.
    Paul Keller

Organized religion: The world’s largest pyramid scheme.
    Bernard Katz     American Rationalist

Look, you have cast out Love!
What Gods are these You bid me please?

The Three in One, the One in Three?

Not so! To my own Gods I go.

It may be they shall give me greater ease

Than your cold Christ and tangled Trinities.

    Rudyard Kipling "Tales From the Hills"

"Theology is a parasite eating at a table set by others. "
    Joachim Kahl        Ex-Protestant Minister, author  "The Misery of Christianity"


L

I’d rather navigate the seas of uncertainty than be mired in the concrete of dogma.
    Patricia Livingston Free Thinker/Humanist/Generic Volunteer

Mutual tolerance of religious views is the product not of faith, but of doubt.
  Arnold Lunn (1888-1974) British author

The theory that you should always treat the religious convictions of other people with respect finds no support in the Gospels.
    Arnold Lunn (1888-1974)  British author

When your heart is full of Jesus, there’s little room for anything else.
    Bill Lueders (c. 1994)

Sire, I had no need of that hypothesis.
[when asked by Napoleon why he had not mentioned God in his "Mecanique Celeste"]

    Pierre Simon Marquis de Laplace (1749-1827)   French astronomer, mathematician


M

"The Church says that the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church."
    Ferdinand Magellan (1480-1521)          Portuguese & Spanish explorer

Sunday school: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
    H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

Theology: The effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.
    H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

God is the...refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find no sanctuary in His arms, but...a kind of superiority, soothing to their...egos: He will set them above their betters.
    H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
    H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

The Belief that man is outfitted with an immortal soul, differing altogether from the engines which operate the lower animals, is ridiculously unjust to them. The difference between the smartest dog and the stupidest man—say a Tennessee Holy Roller—is really very small, and the difference between the decentest dog and the worst man is all in favor of the dog.
    H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

If the triangles made a god, they would give him three sides.
    Charles de Montesquieu (1689-1755) French philosopher, lawyer

If you eat sausage, you are better off not knowing the inner workings of sausage factories, and if you are a Christian, that of the Christian church.
    Rev. Donald Morgan

"Mystery": A word popular with theologians.  When properly used, it completely rectifies the seemingly inhumane and incomprehensible behavior of our all-loving Creator, which we know by faith cannot be anything but good.
    Rev. D. Morgan (b. 1933)

Moral: A peerless maxim enumerated by God in his Holy Bible, such as that of  Deut. 23:1, if your testicles are crushed  or your male member missing, you must never enter a sanctuary of the Lord.
   Donald Morgan

 Jesus’ last words on the cross, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" hardly seem to be the words of a man who planned it that way. It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure there is something wrong here.
    "Rev." Donald Morgan

"God"—who is said to have created everything from nothing, and to have done so with no help from anyone is now completely helpless to do anything at all without the assistance of an army of clergymen and the charity of a flock of faithful followers.
    Rev. Donald Morgan

Resurrection: The means by which his friends became convinced that Jesus was the Messiah. Though they never got together on the details of the story, faith teaches us that it is nonetheless a historical fact.
    Donald Morgan

The biblical concepts of sin and salvation are an intrinsic part of Christian doctrine. Christianity first creates a problem (sin) and then offers a "solution" (salvation). This is not unlike the protection racket—you either buy "protection"—or else!
    Donald Morgan

Religion: A system of firm beliefs about things uncertain which is put forth with the greatest certainty.
    Rev. Donald Morgan

Religion: The manufacture and supply of easy answers to unanswerable questions.
    Rev. Donald Morgan

The Resurrection is something that should have been demonstrated to all of Jerusalem, not just a handful of faithful followers. This was an irresponsible oversight on the part of God Incarnate.
    Rev. Donald Morgan

Church: A place where, once a week or so, hired prayer-makers lead the least worthy of us in granting to the Infinite Presence the praise without which He would feel slighted.
    Donald Morgan

Theology: A prolonged and passionate study of nearly everything that could possibly be said about nothing.
    Donald Morgan

How many things we held yesterday as articles of faith, today we tell as fables?
    Michel E. de Montaigne (1533-1592)

"America’s favorite religion is scientifically unsupported, philosophically suspect at best, disreputable at worst, and historically fraudulent."
    Delos B. McKown, Ph.D., Former clergyman

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.
    Delos B. McKown, Ph.D.,    U.S. professor, philosopher, author    Former clergyman

There has never been a kingdom given to so many civil wars as the Kingdom of God.
    Charles de Montesquieu (1689-1755)

"God"—as revealed in his book of edicts and narratives is practically an idiot. He has nothing to say that any sensible person should want to listen to.
    Johann Most (c. 1890)


N

One should not go into churches if one wants to breathe pure air.
    Frederick Nietzsche (1844-1900)      German philosopher

"The Christian church has left nothing untouched by its depravity; it has turned every value into worthlessness, and every truth into a lie, and every integrity into baseness of soul."
    Frederick Nietzsche (1844-1900)     German philosopher

The Christian faith from the beginning, is sacrifice: the sacrifice of all freedom, all pride, all self-confidence of spirit; it is at the same time subjection, self-derision, an self-mutilation....
    Frederick Nietzsche (1844-1900)   German philosopher

In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.
    Frederick Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher.

God is a thought who makes crooked all that is straight.
    Frederick Nietzsche (1844-1900)    German philosopher, author

It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author—and that he did not learn it better.
    Frederick Nietzsche (1844-1900) German philosopher

"A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
    Frederick Nietzsche (1844-1900)


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P

Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies, each with two hundred billion stars, then rejoice
in the smell of burning goat flesh?

    Ron Patterson

Ideas that cannot be defended by reason and evidence can lead anywhere, and, if there is no warrant for one’s belief, there is no telling where it will end.
    Paul M. Pfalzner Canadian medical physicist, author, humanist


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R

There is something feeble and contemptible about a man who cannot face life without the help of comfortable myths.
    Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

The old faiths light their candles all about, but burly Truth comes by and puts them out.
    Lizette Reese

No theologian could ever be a historian. History is essentially disinterested. The historian has only one concern: art and truth, ...whereas the theologian has something else at stake—his dogma.
    Joseph Ernest Renan (1823-1890)

Belief in the supernatural is the shame of civilization.
    Joseph Ernest Renan (1823-1890)

Oh Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul.
    Joseph Ernest Renan (1823-1890)

I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t.
    Jules Renard (1864-1910)

Riddles:

Q. What do you get when you cross a Jehovah’s Witness with an Avon lady?
A. One less trip to the door each month.

Q. What do you get when you cross an Atheist with a Jehovah’s Witness?
A. Someone who knocks on your door for absolutely no reason at all.

Q. Why don’t Southern Baptists have sex standing up?
A. It might lead to dancing.


S

Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep thoughts can be winnowed from deep nonsense.
    Carl Sagan

"A celibate clergy is an especially good idea because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism."
    Carl Sagan

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
    George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope?  If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t.
    George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

 Martyrdom has always been a proof of the intensity, never the correctness, of a belief.
    Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965) Humanitarian, philosopher, theologian

No gods, no masters.
    Margaret Sanger (1883-1966)

God is the Asylum of Ignorance.
    Baruch Spinoza (1632-1677)    Dutch-Jewish philosopher

The memory of my own suffering has prevented me from ever shadowing one young soul with the superstitions of the Christian religion.
    Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815-1902)      U.S. women’s rights leader, social reformer

To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.
    Lionel Strachey (1864-1927) British writer, translator, humorist

The merciful, and the avenging God!
Who, prototype of human misrule, sits High in Heaven’s realm, upon a golden throne,

Even like an earthly king; and whose dread work, Hell,

Gapes for ever for the unhappy slaves of fate, whom he created, in his sport,

To triumph in their torments when they fell!

    Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)     English poet, author

If God has spoken, why is the universe not convinced?
    Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) English poet, author

The Bible is a wonderful source of inspiration for those who don’t understand it.
    George Santayana (1863-1952)

In spite of centuries wasted in preaching God’s omnipotence, his omnipotence is contradicted by every Christian judgment and every Christian prayer.
    George Santayana (1863-1952) U.S. philosopher, writer, professor

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says; he is always convinced that it says what he means.
    George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

The Bible is the greatest hoax in all history. The leading characters of the Old Testament would today be in the penitentiary and those of the New would be under observation in psychopathic wards.
    Charles Smith (1887-1964)     U.S. attorney, author

The teaching of the fear of hell as a serious doctrine is something which should be exposed as
superstitious and against which every child should be given the immunity of a realistic education.

    Richard M. Smith   American Atheist

The difference between being "devout" and being "nuts":
        1. "I am Napoleon." Nobody else agrees. You’re nuts.

        2. "This wafer is transubstantiated into the body of Christ."    Millions agree. You’re devout.

    Thomas Szasz

Christianity is so unbelievable and so contrary to everyday observation on its surface, that the only way in which people can maintain such an untenable set of beliefs is by constant reinforcement.
    Gordon Stein, Ph.D.


T

It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
    Mark Twain (1835-1910) U.S. journalist, lecturer, author

A man is accepted into church for what he believes—and turned out for what he knows.
    Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion—several of them.
    Mark Twain (1835-1910) U.S. journalist, lecturer, author

Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
    Mark Twain (1835-1910) U.S. journalist, lecturer, author

Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.
   Mark Twain

[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
    Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"When we talk to god, it’s prayer. When god talks to us, it’s schizophrenia."
    Lily Tomlin, American actress

The comforts that we enjoy are entirely the results of man’s wisdom. They did not come about from reading the Bible or praying to God.
    Farell Till; Former clergyman, Editor of The Skeptical Review

The Bible: The inerrant, inspired Word of an omnipotent, omniscient diety who lived in a tent that desert nomads carried around with them some 3500 years ago.
    Farell Till

I have asked inerrantists what they would think if I should take the position that the Bible is errant in everything it says. They admit that anyone who would do this would not be an objective person, yet they seem to think that they are being perfectly objective in their position that the Bible is inerrant in everything it says.
    Farrel Till

 


U

Skeptic does not mean him who doubts, but him who investigates or researches, as opposed to him who asserts and thinks that he has found.
    Miguel de Unamuno     Spanish writer, philosopher


V

"Jesus Christ: A name that once upon a time was taken by God when he went to make a short sojourn in Judea, where, failing to declare his right name ...he was hanged.... Had it not been for this lucky turn..., the human race had been lost."
    Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, historian, author, poet

"The introduction of a Creator has done our independence no good."
    Gore Vidal (b. 1925)


W

Science is the record of dead religions.
    Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"A bishop keeps on saying at the age of eighty what he was told to say at the age of eighteen."
    Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Truth in matters of religion is simply the opinion that has survived.
    Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

I think that I would be embarrassed to admit that I believed in an "all-wise" god who made tapeworms.
    Fred Woodworth American Atheist

Cult: A religion with no political power.
    Tom Wolfe (b. 1931)


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